Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Too much gin, very little bucket
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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