I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
