Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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