Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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