I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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