In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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