There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize