i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
