Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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