I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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