About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
