Your tits are I can't wait for
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I don't deserve a penis
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize