Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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