you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he thought i was a dude.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
