so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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