Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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