I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
