He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
