the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
