that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
