We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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