Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she looked like the before picture.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
