some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
