So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.