Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.