ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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