Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I love you. Go after that dick
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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