i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
