The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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