i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
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Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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