Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
