Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
