Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
