A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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