you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
