just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
