I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
