It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Is Oprah even human
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
