She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
