I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize