I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
