AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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