id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
