I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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