rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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