i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Acid is not a monday night drug
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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