I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
