Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Are we still banned from the library?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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