It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
