i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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