My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
