my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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