Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
