ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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