the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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