Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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