Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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