how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
