When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
