just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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