somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
